here and now..

what just happened?

good time of reflection at shaw house’s tcc, journalling my thoughts about my trip to medan,research on possible part-time careers and smallbusiness opportunities, and more journalling on my thoughts for the future.

spent the past hours with jonathan tay and peter andy wang, talked about church, talked about world. drank a bottle and a half of carlsberg myself to end the night, drinking around close friends is a bliss.

nose bleed again, must be the fifth time now for the past one month? realized if i ate too heaty stuffs like indo food, it will bleed, drank a bit too much, it will bleed.. ..stay away from heaty stuffs !

what will happen later?

I just downloaded the CVs and resumes that my sister sent me, will look at the word play by NUS masters students tml morning, and coughed out my own and submit it to apply for part-time accountant in melbourne, hopefully it works!

eating prawn noodle with mum, wonder what we will talk about… definately i will be driving the car hehe !

meeting with gwen and dennis for lunch, both are ppl that i have deep admiration for, but both are such diff ppl, wonder if i will connect well..

meeting wyn and jontay.. again will be at shaw’s tcc, lets see…. no clue how things will turn out, will treasure the time nonetheless..

4pm be at home to pack stuffs and head to bali, thats it sg.

melbourne here i come !

Death.(Body guard and Assassin)

Yesterday spent some personal time with Anna, we caught body guard and assassin and Avatar 3D on the same day. Avatar 3D sets the benchmark for future 3D movies, i pray James Cameron will consider making Final Fantasy series using his 3D techniques, its amazing how i can feel the emotions of avatars by observing their facial expressions.

The movie that left a deep impression on the both of us is Body guard and Assassin, i think it is fantastic. (almost teared when nicholas tse died) I like it how the director handle the theme of revolution on such a microlevel. I observed that out of the many people that gave their lives for the nobility of revolution, only two ( tony leung kar-fai and the 17 yo son) understand fully what revolution means. Not many people wants or care about revolution. In the movie, people fought revolution for personal reasons, some for their personal dreams, some for their families, some for their redemption. Perhaps, the mastery of a revolutionary leader is not to convince and educate everyone what revolution is, but what revolution means to a factory worker, to a boss of local news agency, to a police, to a prince, etc.

What matters to me is a matter of death, people died for different reasons in the movie. what will i die for? Two thousand years ago Jesus Christ died for our sins so that we can live in Christ and live to be more like Him for the rest of our lives towards perfection.

Britney Spears death

That was what we overheard while we were eating breakfast a couple of hours ago, in a run down noodle shophouse. Upon further ‘eavesdropping’ to the noisy chatter of CTU youths at the next table they concluded that they have confused themselves with britney and britany. ( translating to chinese both names are similar except for the last letter)

While Britney is still living well after her successful comeback tour, what did die were my camera and my phone. While my cell phone need to be re-charge, i totally forgot my charger for the camera. I will have to try to get a replacement charger, its madness to imagine not being able to take more pics, at the second day of my china trip.

ChengDu (CTU)

In chengdu now, no facebook, no twitter ! media blockout by the government. I love this place though, felt at home right away. Maybe its like my dad says, ” chinese going to china, its like going back home”.

Being here reminds me of how much i miss winter, its like about 10 degrees here, very cooling to walk on the streets. (heard from Anna’s roomate that its now 38 degrees in Melbourne, hallelujah)

Will be travelling around to eat,eat and eat. =))

Travelling..

Been finding it hard to find time out to read, but i managed to buy two more books in Bahasa ! One is kelapa sawit (palm oil) and another one is 100 great business ideas. I realized that imported books in Indonesia cost a bomb ! For the same book that i can find in Sg it costs almost twice the amount in Indonesia. However, if the book is translated into Bahasa, guess what ! its going to cost Half the amount required for purchase, what an incentive to read ! There are so many books that i am trying to read now, and soon and very soon holidays are going to end and i dont want to look back knowing that i have neglected reading ! lets think of a plan now !

Encourage myself first, what i have read so far; My divine mentor, Wayne Cordeiro. Since last month this book has convinced me that my quiete time is in shambles, and it is the most urgent thing that i need to fix. My life has been enriched deeply after following SOAP structure of journalling, praise God for the insights Ps Wayne has ! The other two books are dating with delilah by Judas smith and Fit to be tied by Bill Hybels. I strongly recommend the latter one to all singles and couples. (so its practically everyone) Raw emotions and stories are shared by Bill and Leanne Hybels, truly a testimony to God’s glory for their marriage to have endured for decades after decades.

Why only Spiritual books ?Because non-spiritual books take longer time for me to chew ! I am about to finish Made to Stick by Chip and Dan Heath and Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers. I am not a fan of Malcolm, find it quite hard going to finish his book and i find his book interesting but holds conclusions that are based on ‘narrow’ experiments and research material. “He is just putting his opinio across, you dont have to agree with him”, as said by Anna Cao, who bought his latest book  (the one with a dog on cover) before flying off to Cheng Du.

I am deeply compelled to do the discussion guide found in Too Small to Ignore by Wess Stafford. I am only at the first few chapters but it has sharpen by thoughts about not just the value of education, but surprisingly also the art of raising children. (so fathers and mothers to be, check this book out!) It took me only a second to decide to buy Stones into Schools by Greg Motenson, man this guy is fast becoming my all-time favourite super hero and is definately on his way to becoming a legend. Last but not the least, the book which i have neglected the most is Jeffrey D Sachs Ending poverty (hope i get the title right), very dry and when i am reading it i feel like i am attending a very, very, very boring economics lecture. if i manage to finish it somehow, i think i am The Nerd.

Okay, the content doesnt match the title, it just shows that i dont know what i want to say when i begin typing. Happy Christmas ! 10 more days untill the end of the year !!

Last two weeks of Melbourne..

The past two weeks at Melbourne has been the most eventful one for me. Last saturday Evelyn asked me to ‘baby sit’ 27 kids! Family group planned a Christmas Outreach event at one of the community centre and they needed help to take care of the kids while the programmes for the adults were running at the main hall. Praise God for the weather that day because the weather forecast was a sunny with a possibility of showers, but it came only after the event has ended! Together with Sinyen, Admund, Ken, Ian, Anna and myself we tried out best and failed totally to match the energy of the children, (despite asking them to run a whole one round on a standard track and field!) Felt very grateful to God for the games to run smoothly, and for the last minute fellow volunteers who gave in the best-est of efforts, future fathers-to-be indeed! Again its proven that Anna is someone totally different from me whether we are or we are not serving together. Maybe its a female thing but she is a perfectionist at the detailed small things, I am the big picture kind of person. (again maybe this is a male thing too!) But i appreciate her for looking after the very few children who needed more attention than others. (one small girl cried when i was saying out my name at the introduction!) Quite wasted that we didnt take any pics, i was too busy enjoying myself too.

What just went past was Caufield lifegroup Christmas Birthday 2009. Anna helped out in decoration and food distribution. We went to shop for decoration items for two days. I am begining to realize that her favourite shop is the Reject shop where the items are cheap and creative juice is needed to produce eye-pleasing decorations. Again i found myself blowing balloons (for the third time!) this semester with Admund before the start of lifegroup. Food spread was way more than enough, i confessed i took home the most amount of food, a whole packet of nandos, few slices of choco mousse cake, a big plate of roasted pork, a box of pizzas and a tray of turkey leg. We had very fun games. (I took pics this time and can’t wait for Jas to post them up, Jason has a pose for a shot at Melbourne Asian of the year) I received U2 album from Yensia. Okay i am not a U2 fan because all their songs sound the same (?)

Love the involvement to be a blessing to the local community, big scale, small scale, doesn’t matter, all done for the love of Christ and men.

Typing at 730am..

I woke up early this morning and i can’t go back to sleep, so might as well reply the long overdue email from yunian, and type out some of my thoughts. Its my last day here in Melbourne, Why am i missing it so much? Maybe because it shows how well i have settled in for the past six months, or maybe because Melbourne is indeed worthy of its title of being one of the top ten most livable cities in the world, the reason is both.

The point is i am leaving tomorrow. I still have a list of to-do-list to clear; call optus to unlock my iphone, vacuum my apartment, buy mats and car cover, print out pictures, do laundry and pack my luggage. Have been having some really quality, end-of-the year conversations with Anna about how this year has gone, what it means to me and what it means to her, how this year has transformed us. I have typed out two other reflections about settling into a Hope waverly church, and the excellent results in my studies, both have their own challenges, both i felt deeply blessed by God.

Holidays is not a time to slack, but a time to shine. My parents will want to examine me through my actions and speech how far their son has progressed, my siblings will want me to be close and be their best friend, my friends will want to learn from my experiences and my mistakes. Her parents will look at this 23 yo dude and think what their precious daughter sees in him. (not tall, not handsome, certainly not much wealth or skill) I will want to explore business opportunities for long term and short term, I will want to pick up skills of all kinds .. 2009 has been great but 2010 will be better ! (note to self, start leaving out my new year resolutions today for them to stick ! where is the list anyways.. )

Listening to: The Core (Hope movement General Conference teachings)

Reading : Too Small to Ignore by Wess Stafford

Courtship;My journey thus far.

I am very pleased and excited to proudly claim Anna Cao as my girlfriend. 

This entry is hard, but it is important and necessary. This entry is not complete yet, courtship is a journey. This entry is mostly for myself, my own reflection purposes. However i am not ashamed or afraid to share my thoughts, my worldview. I gave a testimony in lifegroup about my courtship, i was totally unprepared and floored it badly,(recorded in jasmine’s video) this is a more proper version of it; the second most important decision in my life after accepting Christ.

I have seen and heard personally for myself families that are torn apart for reasons that i cannot accept or comprehend fully, i have seen courtships that were not done wisely and have pointed(judged?) out my concerns at them myself. Untill now I still can’t satisfy fully the questions that were asked, ” How well do you two know each other in a few months?”, “Why it has to be now?”,”How about the differences in backgrounds?”, a more pointy question i have asked myself, “Is it because of my loneliness that i am doing this?” Coming from an established ministry i know what is the ‘ideal’ courtship path to take, get to know each other in ministry, serve together for a few years.. I have admitted, and i still do believe that my decision process could have been done better. Each relationship is unique but it has to be grounded with biblical principles. Obviously i am neither a Guru nor an Aced student at them, but here are some of my personal reflective thoughts and learnings at it thus far..

Dealing with each other’s skeleton closet. The uncertainty factor is huge. ” Is she spiritual enough?” is a question that begs more than just regular church/lifegroup attendance, i am asking if she genuinely has a heart for God. I look for consistency in behaviour, and the obedience towards the Holy Spirit, and i took time to witness and gathered enough testimonies, before i move to deal deeper with my own demons.For a long time, I cant accept the fact that she is the ‘perfect gift’ that God has prepared for me in heaven. During that time i was like a screwdriver trying to find a screw in her to unscrew whatever secrets that she kept from me, it eats away my soul and it hurts our relationship. I have to let go of this doubt eventually, and not letting the devil to stop me from fully accepting her and loving her for who she is.  I was skeptical. At the bottom line is, we are both of ‘age’ (23 and 22 respectively) and we have our fair share of mistakes in the past, we come clean about them honestly, personally we took time out and bring them before God, took even more time to put things in perspectives, and decide to move on. Dwelling on the things of the past kills the joy of relationship. It is true that it is best to find a partner that you know well since you are young, it naturally removes needless uncertainty and builds bonus but much needed foundation for trust.

Getting it right with the local church. What kind of a person will i be, if God provides me with this gorgeous girl at church, and i turn my back on His church and leave? I admit carnally that i did speculate with myself about the thought of leaving, but i have never seriously consider about it. I can’t remember exactly which night, but we both made a decision to get things right with the local church. I did it with faith honestly, not knowing how long it will take or what ‘procedures’ that awaits. From the stories and with my own personal understanding, i believed what is needed most is communication. Guidelines are not rules, but they are the platform for communications. I have told myself that at any point of time if someone from the church is to sit me down and give me perspectives of the direction that i need to take for this courtship with solid biblical reasonings, i will pray about them and heed their wise advices, i am sure Anna will too.  We were quite blessed to be ‘officialized’ by our church soon after we talked to our leaders. One blessing that i count deeply for being right with the local church is that it allows us to serve together, nothing energize me more these days than for us to serve together, blessing and expanding His kingdom. Planning events, buying items.. She was in charge of the decoration for church during Father’s day and i witnessed and experienced first-hand how we complement each other, and ran past the ‘finish line’ together.. that saturday night will be in my memories forever, the first of many such days to come.

Knowing what keeps me on when the going gets tough. I read a book recently from Bill Hybel that talks about courtship, the concept of compabilities and incompabilities that exist within couples. I do not allow a margin of error, when it comes to the compabilities that are shared between Anna and i. We shared the same love for God, the same desire to walk with Him daily and to abide by His calling. We shared the same values in Him, and we shared the same passion for Him; to be successful in business and to help a lot alot of kids in the future. What i mean by not allowing a margin of error is, should there be a day any of the three things mentioned above changed,without a flinch i know my committment to this relationship will shake; these formthe pillars of my courtship. What we believe now, what we want to do together in the future, have to be the same today and tomorrow. The incompabilities, i would love to pass them off as jokes some day but they are painful at times. What do you expect when you put an indonesian guy who grew up in singapore with a china girl who grew up in brisbane together? The way we used certain words are different. Recalling the last time after we met Kei,(Anna’s good friend/mentor) She asked me ” Can you give me any feedback about the meet-up?”, i thought about it seriously and gave my best analytical views from various angles, after hours of needless explanations (i was so serious that she thought i didnt enjoy myself) i found out that what she meant was ” do you like it?”.. .. classing Singlish clashing with Aussie English, we are still ’suffering’ from this but i have since taught myself the art of clarifying during conversations. This is just one of the many incompatibilities that we both share, but they are nothing compare to our common values, beliefs and vision.

Courtship is not fun when you are serious. I turn to God daily for guidance, and after loving someone so deep, and feeling loved in return. With a sense of awe, i bow before God daily, knowing that there is this corner in my heart, that no matter how much loved i felt from Anna, this corner is especially reserved to be touched by God. He is irreplaceable in my heart and the cornerstone of my life because His spirit lives with me.

 

Reading: the Divine Mentor by Wayne Cordeiro

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For an estimated AUD$4000 i have learnt..

Business Marketing

It was only at the Third lecture i managed to change my mindset, from marketing to ordinary consumers to marketing to businesses.. small but significant differences. I will never forget in this module i get to form a group for group assignment and group presentation, my first in uni life.(smth that i will never get to do if i have stayed in sg) Irony that the experience sucks,(surprise surprise?!) project mates that dont care with a capital “C”; one of them flew back to indonesia for two weeks and none of them turned up for the main exam.(hopefully they have asked for deferral) Well things are not as bad as they sound, at least we managed to pull-through our tasks. 

Economics of High Technology and Innovation

It was on purpose that i chose ’challenging-looking’ modules like these, thats why i chose accouting as a major in the first place. I do enjoy this module even though my Russian lecure is eccentric. I understand why some high tech companies will allow their products to be pirated, basically piracy do generate a higher number of users and companies cannot afford high protection costs at the expense of profits.(as i typed this economic graphs are forming in my mind) I also wrote an essay of 3000 words on Portable Gaming Industry in this module, researched deeply into the domination of GameBoy in the past decade and the emergence of IPhone as a potential competitor, it is true that when you enjoy what you do, even though the process is tedious you will look back feeling satisfied.

Company Reporting

I cannot afford to fail this, I have a phobia of failing my studies developed since my younger days. Comparing my notes for all three modules, Company reporting is the thickest, my notes are almost three times taller than the other two. I went through my course material thoroughly 4 times during the semester. Company reporting is infamous for its high failure rate,(40%) if i fail it i am going to stay back for another 6 months, unacceptable. Shockingly during exams, the questions that came out are totally new, no link to past year papers or whatsoever, i remember myself smiling at the paper, relishing the challenge. I left the exam hall half-an hour early knowing that i have gave my best, checked the paper twice, its up to Him now.

My final two semesters i am left with my accounting modules. Then i will quit business-related studies altogether and plunge into Masters in International Relations; world politics, globalization and China, islam in Indonesia..*drips saliva..

Reading: Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

Have watched: 2012 (Peter.W will like this)

Watching: Heroes season 3 Ep 18

sleepless night

every year there will be one or two nights when I cannot sleep for no reason, been twisting and turning around my bed for an hour now. One possible reason is because it’s hot and I am trying to get to sleep without an aircon, oh wells.

one more paper and I will be free for three months. Geez that’s like one quarter of the year, can’t even begin to verbalize the pressure it has on me, ya 23 yo boy to young adult journey is difficult.

good thing is this year has been the most exciting year of my life, exciting is a serious misunderstatement to describe it. my mind has been bombarded with thoughts and points for reflection, yes all when I was having my exams! what I am going to do beside reading extensively, is also to sit down and reflect on my year, through collecting my life from wordpress, facebook, personal journal and twitter. Mainly to try to understand myself; where have I done right and where I could have done better in the eyes of God and men. generally I am glad with 2009 and I have chunks to give thanks for this year, Life with Christ is amazing!