Last two weeks of Melbourne..

The past two weeks at Melbourne has been the most eventful one for me. Last saturday Evelyn asked me to ‘baby sit’ 27 kids! Family group planned a Christmas Outreach event at one of the community centre and they needed help to take care of the kids while the programmes for the adults were running at the main hall. Praise God for the weather that day because the weather forecast was a sunny with a possibility of showers, but it came only after the event has ended! Together with Sinyen, Admund, Ken, Ian, Anna and myself we tried out best and failed totally to match the energy of the children, (despite asking them to run a whole one round on a standard track and field!) Felt very grateful to God for the games to run smoothly, and for the last minute fellow volunteers who gave in the best-est of efforts, future fathers-to-be indeed! Again its proven that Anna is someone totally different from me whether we are or we are not serving together. Maybe its a female thing but she is a perfectionist at the detailed small things, I am the big picture kind of person. (again maybe this is a male thing too!) But i appreciate her for looking after the very few children who needed more attention than others. (one small girl cried when i was saying out my name at the introduction!) Quite wasted that we didnt take any pics, i was too busy enjoying myself too.

What just went past was Caufield lifegroup Christmas Birthday 2009. Anna helped out in decoration and food distribution. We went to shop for decoration items for two days. I am begining to realize that her favourite shop is the Reject shop where the items are cheap and creative juice is needed to produce eye-pleasing decorations. Again i found myself blowing balloons (for the third time!) this semester with Admund before the start of lifegroup. Food spread was way more than enough, i confessed i took home the most amount of food, a whole packet of nandos, few slices of choco mousse cake, a big plate of roasted pork, a box of pizzas and a tray of turkey leg. We had very fun games. (I took pics this time and can’t wait for Jas to post them up, Jason has a pose for a shot at Melbourne Asian of the year) I received U2 album from Yensia. Okay i am not a U2 fan because all their songs sound the same (?)

Love the involvement to be a blessing to the local community, big scale, small scale, doesn’t matter, all done for the love of Christ and men.

Typing at 730am..

I woke up early this morning and i can’t go back to sleep, so might as well reply the long overdue email from yunian, and type out some of my thoughts. Its my last day here in Melbourne, Why am i missing it so much? Maybe because it shows how well i have settled in for the past six months, or maybe because Melbourne is indeed worthy of its title of being one of the top ten most livable cities in the world, the reason is both.

The point is i am leaving tomorrow. I still have a list of to-do-list to clear; call optus to unlock my iphone, vacuum my apartment, buy mats and car cover, print out pictures, do laundry and pack my luggage. Have been having some really quality, end-of-the year conversations with Anna about how this year has gone, what it means to me and what it means to her, how this year has transformed us. I have typed out two other reflections about settling into a Hope waverly church, and the excellent results in my studies, both have their own challenges, both i felt deeply blessed by God.

Holidays is not a time to slack, but a time to shine. My parents will want to examine me through my actions and speech how far their son has progressed, my siblings will want me to be close and be their best friend, my friends will want to learn from my experiences and my mistakes. Her parents will look at this 23 yo dude and think what their precious daughter sees in him. (not tall, not handsome, certainly not much wealth or skill) I will want to explore business opportunities for long term and short term, I will want to pick up skills of all kinds .. 2009 has been great but 2010 will be better ! (note to self, start leaving out my new year resolutions today for them to stick ! where is the list anyways.. )

Listening to: The Core (Hope movement General Conference teachings)

Reading : Too Small to Ignore by Wess Stafford

Courtship;My journey thus far.

I am very pleased and excited to proudly claim Anna Cao as my girlfriend. 

This entry is hard, but it is important and necessary. This entry is not complete yet, courtship is a journey. This entry is mostly for myself, my own reflection purposes. However i am not ashamed or afraid to share my thoughts, my worldview. I gave a testimony in lifegroup about my courtship, i was totally unprepared and floored it badly,(recorded in jasmine’s video) this is a more proper version of it; the second most important decision in my life after accepting Christ.

I have seen and heard personally for myself families that are torn apart for reasons that i cannot accept or comprehend fully, i have seen courtships that were not done wisely and have pointed(judged?) out my concerns at them myself. Untill now I still can’t satisfy fully the questions that were asked, ” How well do you two know each other in a few months?”, “Why it has to be now?”,”How about the differences in backgrounds?”, a more pointy question i have asked myself, “Is it because of my loneliness that i am doing this?” Coming from an established ministry i know what is the ‘ideal’ courtship path to take, get to know each other in ministry, serve together for a few years.. I have admitted, and i still do believe that my decision process could have been done better. Each relationship is unique but it has to be grounded with biblical principles. Obviously i am neither a Guru nor an Aced student at them, but here are some of my personal reflective thoughts and learnings at it thus far..

Dealing with each other’s skeleton closet. The uncertainty factor is huge. ” Is she spiritual enough?” is a question that begs more than just regular church/lifegroup attendance, i am asking if she genuinely has a heart for God. I look for consistency in behaviour, and the obedience towards the Holy Spirit, and i took time to witness and gathered enough testimonies, before i move to deal deeper with my own demons.For a long time, I cant accept the fact that she is the ‘perfect gift’ that God has prepared for me in heaven. During that time i was like a screwdriver trying to find a screw in her to unscrew whatever secrets that she kept from me, it eats away my soul and it hurts our relationship. I have to let go of this doubt eventually, and not letting the devil to stop me from fully accepting her and loving her for who she is.  I was skeptical. At the bottom line is, we are both of ‘age’ (23 and 22 respectively) and we have our fair share of mistakes in the past, we come clean about them honestly, personally we took time out and bring them before God, took even more time to put things in perspectives, and decide to move on. Dwelling on the things of the past kills the joy of relationship. It is true that it is best to find a partner that you know well since you are young, it naturally removes needless uncertainty and builds bonus but much needed foundation for trust.

Getting it right with the local church. What kind of a person will i be, if God provides me with this gorgeous girl at church, and i turn my back on His church and leave? I admit carnally that i did speculate with myself about the thought of leaving, but i have never seriously consider about it. I can’t remember exactly which night, but we both made a decision to get things right with the local church. I did it with faith honestly, not knowing how long it will take or what ‘procedures’ that awaits. From the stories and with my own personal understanding, i believed what is needed most is communication. Guidelines are not rules, but they are the platform for communications. I have told myself that at any point of time if someone from the church is to sit me down and give me perspectives of the direction that i need to take for this courtship with solid biblical reasonings, i will pray about them and heed their wise advices, i am sure Anna will too.  We were quite blessed to be ‘officialized’ by our church soon after we talked to our leaders. One blessing that i count deeply for being right with the local church is that it allows us to serve together, nothing energize me more these days than for us to serve together, blessing and expanding His kingdom. Planning events, buying items.. She was in charge of the decoration for church during Father’s day and i witnessed and experienced first-hand how we complement each other, and ran past the ‘finish line’ together.. that saturday night will be in my memories forever, the first of many such days to come.

Knowing what keeps me on when the going gets tough. I read a book recently from Bill Hybel that talks about courtship, the concept of compabilities and incompabilities that exist within couples. I do not allow a margin of error, when it comes to the compabilities that are shared between Anna and i. We shared the same love for God, the same desire to walk with Him daily and to abide by His calling. We shared the same values in Him, and we shared the same passion for Him; to be successful in business and to help a lot alot of kids in the future. What i mean by not allowing a margin of error is, should there be a day any of the three things mentioned above changed,without a flinch i know my committment to this relationship will shake; these formthe pillars of my courtship. What we believe now, what we want to do together in the future, have to be the same today and tomorrow. The incompabilities, i would love to pass them off as jokes some day but they are painful at times. What do you expect when you put an indonesian guy who grew up in singapore with a china girl who grew up in brisbane together? The way we used certain words are different. Recalling the last time after we met Kei,(Anna’s good friend/mentor) She asked me ” Can you give me any feedback about the meet-up?”, i thought about it seriously and gave my best analytical views from various angles, after hours of needless explanations (i was so serious that she thought i didnt enjoy myself) i found out that what she meant was ” do you like it?”.. .. classing Singlish clashing with Aussie English, we are still ’suffering’ from this but i have since taught myself the art of clarifying during conversations. This is just one of the many incompatibilities that we both share, but they are nothing compare to our common values, beliefs and vision.

Courtship is not fun when you are serious. I turn to God daily for guidance, and after loving someone so deep, and feeling loved in return. With a sense of awe, i bow before God daily, knowing that there is this corner in my heart, that no matter how much loved i felt from Anna, this corner is especially reserved to be touched by God. He is irreplaceable in my heart and the cornerstone of my life because His spirit lives with me.

 

Reading: the Divine Mentor by Wayne Cordeiro

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For an estimated AUD$4000 i have learnt..

Business Marketing

It was only at the Third lecture i managed to change my mindset, from marketing to ordinary consumers to marketing to businesses.. small but significant differences. I will never forget in this module i get to form a group for group assignment and group presentation, my first in uni life.(smth that i will never get to do if i have stayed in sg) Irony that the experience sucks,(surprise surprise?!) project mates that dont care with a capital “C”; one of them flew back to indonesia for two weeks and none of them turned up for the main exam.(hopefully they have asked for deferral) Well things are not as bad as they sound, at least we managed to pull-through our tasks. 

Economics of High Technology and Innovation

It was on purpose that i chose ’challenging-looking’ modules like these, thats why i chose accouting as a major in the first place. I do enjoy this module even though my Russian lecure is eccentric. I understand why some high tech companies will allow their products to be pirated, basically piracy do generate a higher number of users and companies cannot afford high protection costs at the expense of profits.(as i typed this economic graphs are forming in my mind) I also wrote an essay of 3000 words on Portable Gaming Industry in this module, researched deeply into the domination of GameBoy in the past decade and the emergence of IPhone as a potential competitor, it is true that when you enjoy what you do, even though the process is tedious you will look back feeling satisfied.

Company Reporting

I cannot afford to fail this, I have a phobia of failing my studies developed since my younger days. Comparing my notes for all three modules, Company reporting is the thickest, my notes are almost three times taller than the other two. I went through my course material thoroughly 4 times during the semester. Company reporting is infamous for its high failure rate,(40%) if i fail it i am going to stay back for another 6 months, unacceptable. Shockingly during exams, the questions that came out are totally new, no link to past year papers or whatsoever, i remember myself smiling at the paper, relishing the challenge. I left the exam hall half-an hour early knowing that i have gave my best, checked the paper twice, its up to Him now.

My final two semesters i am left with my accounting modules. Then i will quit business-related studies altogether and plunge into Masters in International Relations; world politics, globalization and China, islam in Indonesia..*drips saliva..

Reading: Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

Have watched: 2012 (Peter.W will like this)

Watching: Heroes season 3 Ep 18

sleepless night

every year there will be one or two nights when I cannot sleep for no reason, been twisting and turning around my bed for an hour now. One possible reason is because it’s hot and I am trying to get to sleep without an aircon, oh wells.

one more paper and I will be free for three months. Geez that’s like one quarter of the year, can’t even begin to verbalize the pressure it has on me, ya 23 yo boy to young adult journey is difficult.

good thing is this year has been the most exciting year of my life, exciting is a serious misunderstatement to describe it. my mind has been bombarded with thoughts and points for reflection, yes all when I was having my exams! what I am going to do beside reading extensively, is also to sit down and reflect on my year, through collecting my life from wordpress, facebook, personal journal and twitter. Mainly to try to understand myself; where have I done right and where I could have done better in the eyes of God and men. generally I am glad with 2009 and I have chunks to give thanks for this year, Life with Christ is amazing!

Happenings

Leadership Summit over the next two days; have to leave half-way for revision lecture but thankfully school is only 5 min drive away, WESS STAFFORD !! =)

Returning to Singapore on the 3rd Dec ? I have to book my tickets first. Again i will only be stopping only for a few days, then head back to Indonesia for a week or so, then head back to Singapore, (dont ask me why, i dont even know how to begin explaining =X ) Can’t wait to sit down and chat over meals with friends, share life growth =)

My younger sister is getting married on the 21st of Dec ! So happy for her, told my elder sister that i will wait for her to get married first, haha !

Exams next week ! i am quite confident in the Lord. Have to keep my guards down and keep to my timetable. Freedy its Crunch Time NOW, Rise up like Obama Did !

*listening to Light up the World, Desperation Band

blessings

sometimes when I think God is not blessing my life, I might just be looking at the wrong place.

for the past two weeks I was terribly ill, the worst I had in years. cold, red rashes and mouth infection, all lined up and came out fully blown. I looked back recently and asked God why didn’t He heal me, why my prayers were not answered.

being jumpy in my thoughts, I reflected and realised past two weeks in relationships aspect it has been the most fruitful of time since I came melbourne. breakthrough in relationships through heart to heart sharing, heart that was opened to receive advices, initiative to establish new friendships. (met a friend that I got to know on my flight back to sg last semester) for a nerd like me, realizing that I am interested in ppl is an inconvenient truth.

but yea, a classic lesson from God. As I walk with Him, blessings are abundance as I follow His Spirit’s leading. Praise Him!

Testimony to church on Sunday

hello good morning church. my name is freedy prajitna and I am from 
caufield lifegroup. I am an Indonesian as you can tell from my name, 
but from my accent and behaviour you will guess that I am from 
Singapore. I spent the past 14 years of my life studying in spore 
since the age of 9, and I received Jesus to be my saviour at the age 
of 16 through hope Singapore.

I arrived in melbourne earlier this year in February to start my 
second year in monash to continue my accounting degree. I remember I 
arrived on a Saturday night and I called Corinna knowing that church 
service is on Sunday, and Justin picked me up the next morning, and I 
have been here ever since.. a proud member of the church and serving 
in kfc.

As I was preparing this testimony I sat down and reflected on how 
God’s hand has moved in my life for the past six months and my life 
has been filled with blessings.

in my personal walk with Jesus. over the past six months I have grown 
to be a more independent Christian. I don’t mean that I don’t need 
anybody, what I mean is I have grown deeper in my Christian faith. 
being in a bigger church setting in hope Singapore for the past six 
years, have allowed me to
be spoon feed with the ‘right’ Christian beliefs and values. For 
example attending lifegroup and church is important to me because 
everyone else in church is attending them. When I am here in 
melbourne, I have many moments before God when I felt ’spiritually’ 
naked because I find myself asking questions to my self that I never 
ask before. ” is attending hope church important?” in Singapore 
travelling to church is five mins but it takes me almost an hour 
coming from the city. I prayed through and begin to personalized 
Christian values and attitudes into my life. this is why I think my 
faith in Christ has become stronger.

I am blessed with a caregroup that is lead by jasmine. Jasmine is a 
leader that has a genuine heart to serve God. She is a good listener 
and has provided good advices in my life. Ian is my shepherd, despite 
the two of us shares a quite different personality we share similar 
family backgrounds and Ian always has a heart of wanting to do more 
for God.

there is still so many people and so many things that I have yet to 
experience..

I am blessed by God through this church in many ways and I am praying   
for growth in church and myself. God’s work is moving through my life 
in this church and I am excited in the days ahead with waverly church.

Confession of a Nerd

Summer Holidays Reading List

1) The Snowball – Warren Buffet and the Business of Life

2) Too Small to Ignore – Wess Stafford

3) End of Poverty – Jeffrey D. Sachs

4) Have a Little Faith – Mitch Albom

Thinking of Getting…

5) Pete Sampras’s biography

6) Steven Gerrard’s biography

7) Barack Obama’s Dreams from my Father

Ah, just come into my mind now that maybe i should consider opening a bookshop in the future, eh but i am already considering on opening a cinema !! 0_o I am quite The nerd i know. I dont have to be convinced with ten thousand reasons why reading is good blah blah blah, its wired-in me by my Creator, all i have to do is to channel it to my passion, and refrain myself from purchasing books everytime i am at Borders !! =P

here in my life.

Here in my life

I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet
But at Your word Lord
I’ll receive Your faith to walk on oceans deep
And I remember how You found me
In that very same place
All my failings surely would have drowned me
Still You made a way

[c]
You are my freedom
Jesus You’re the reason
I’m kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life
Here in my life

You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds the
Way to freedom truth of Jesus
Brought from death into this life
And I remember how You saw me
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the price was Your beloved for me
Still You made a way

This song speaks to me today. Somehow i am into songs that i cant sing well; songs which are originally composed for female singers. For a divine reason i felt broken today, i felt deeply confused and lost for all the reasons that i can think of; its one of those days that i find problems with my world. God spoke to me about His freedom for me. Indeed, i remember how He found me, when i was 16, know nothing about Him, all my failings and brokeness should have drowned me, but i am still here because He has been faithful in all my growing up years. All that will be said, and all that will be done, have to be central and focused for God’s glory and purpose alone.

 And i remember when He first saw me and opened my eyes, He paid a price, that His son was to die on the cross so that i can live, it is a precious price to pay for each and everyone of His children. No more condemnations, no more judgements, we are all paid at an equal price.